My birthday ( and a letter to my parents)



I was held in his strong arms when I opened my eyes. He was awake he was looking at me with a smile on his face. Was he discovering what was in my dreams? Or was it about how he was feeling at that moment about me?? What was going on in his mind? I would never know.
The first thing he said was “ hello my darling, Happy Birthday”. I smiled pleasantly and looked him in his eyes and held him tighter. He kissed my forehead as he does usually when I am in his arms..
Maybe that was all I needed for my birthday. For him to remember it.

My son had marked this day on the calendar with two little star on the each side of the “Mum’s Birthday”. He is the sweetest boy. He told me happy birthday anytime he felt like saying it, maybe he thought I would forget it!!!! And it was like little hint for saying that “ Mummy be happy, today is your day”!

Each member of my family called later that day. When I talked to my father, he said that he was going to Mashhad. He said that he would pray to God for our quick return. He was deeply unhappy that we were not going back this year again, I could hear it from his voice and the choice of his words.

The rest of the day went by without me being myself or enjoying the day. I kept thinking about my parents and how cruel I have been to them. Would I ever let my own child do that to me? It is hard to answer it now as he is too young to be able to make a decision about his own life, but I know that that wouldn’t be the case… then why am I hurting my parents? There is an expression saying, “Our children are our sweet enemies”?? Oh no! I would never want that…
I have asked myself these questions many times, but there are no straightforward answers for them.

Mum and dad please forgive me for being so selfish and doing things for my family’s sake and hurting your delicate feelings.
In the name of this special day on which you two have given birth to me and brought me to the world and given me the most precious gift of living in this world, I swear to all the beauties and purities of the world that there is no intention of upsetting you. I love you and I will always love you… you are always in my thoughts. Never a day goes by that I have not thought of you. Just give me enough time to finish this commitment then I will be with you for the rest of my life. Thanks.


"Birthdays are good for you. The more you have, the longer you live."