Portsmouth Harbour

It was on Friday afternoon around six o’clock, that my mobile rang, I picked it up. It was my colleague. She was calling to ask me to go with her to Portsmouth tomorrow. There was an urgent case she wanted to meet a client at the Haslar detention centre. I said to her that I would be happy to go with her. We arranged the time to meet up tomorrow morning.

I hadn’t gone to work; I was home all day, looking after my son who had a fever and a sore throat. I took him to his GP in the morning and he was on antibiotics and painkillers. He looked well enough for me to go and work tomorrow. Well, I just thought "every little helps"!!

I went to the Internet, first checked for the train’s timetables and then looked up for Portsmouth websites to see if there is anything that we could go and visit. There was the harbour itself, Charles dickens birth place, the Cathedral and a few other places. I was not sure if we will have time for all that, but I wanted to have some information before going there and just in case we had the time, we know what we needed to look for…

I woke up a bit early and prepared lunch for myself and for my son. I left home after half eight. I got to waterloo and bought a ticket for Portsmouth. I waited for my friend to turn up and she soon came. We got into the train. She insisted that we sit in the coach next to the first class because she believed that it was cleaner and quieter and a no smoking coach, which I welcomed.

We talked about everything and anything, she told me about Kosova and Albania when they were in war with Serbians. She came here as a student but when her visa expired her country was not safe enough for her to return, then she had to seek asylum. She said that it was a very big deal for her at that time, not being able to go and visit her family and having to live for a period of time, which no one knew how long it would be, in a strange country. She told me about her family and relatives who had lost their homes, honours, jobs and their friends. It was so sad knowing what war does to individuals, their emotions and their mental states.

Time to time I looked out of the window, it was a beautiful sunny day and everywhere was green with lots of fields, trees and forests. It reminded me of our family outing days. We usually had few family-outing days every summer.

There were many stations before we get to Portsmouth. It took us two and a half hours by train to get there. Now we had to rush and get the ferry. Unlike woolwich ferry, this one was not free of charge; we had to pay two pounds to get in. But it was worth it. The sea was absolutely beautiful. Full of ships, yachts and boats. There were a few ferries. Two of them going to haslar, where we were going, one was on this side and the other was apparently on the other side to pick up the passengers. A Few others were going to Isle of Wight. Our ferry had three floors, ground floor, first floor and second floor. We sat on the first floor. I wished that my family were with me. That would have been heaven. It did not take us too long. We got to the other side and got off. In a few minutes we reached the other side.

Haslar was a very nice town. Very close to the sea. People seemed friendly but as I had my scarf on they were looking at me but it did not make me feel uneasy. Well not more than I made them anyway! I did not see any other Muslim with a scarf there. (My friend is Muslim but she doesn’t cover her hair). We asked someone where we could get a taxi to go to the detention centre. Soon after we were sitting in the taxi and in a few minutes we were there. it was a place with high walls and barbed wires on top of them. It reminded me of my countrys' prisons! The walls as high as sky! ( well maybe not THAT high!)

It was 40 minutes past one, and the visiting hours had not started yet. We decided to go and sit at the back of the building and have our lunch. It was still sunny and warm; we sat there in front of the sea and had our lunch. There were loads of seagulls flying over our heads and my friend was scared of them. There were some people who were fishing. She said that it is better to go and sit close to the fisher men because these seagulls had once taken her sandwich while she was eating and hurt her too! Anyway, we moved closer to an old fisherman. I don’t know how long he had been sitting there but I did not see him catching anything! There was a nice breeze from the sea and I called my son to see how he was and I wanted him to listen to the sea and the waves. It was just after two, when we got up and went to the detention centre.

After all the official papaerworks and checking on our Id cards, we were let in. the officers were very nice and polite despite what I thought before seeing them. When we finished, my friend had to copy some of the client’s documents and we were done for the day! Actually that was why we had come all this way from London.
She called a taxi from the detention centre’s reception and we left. The taxi took us back to the ferry and as it was there already, we ran to catch it, otherwise we had to wait for the other one to come back. After that we went to the train station and had to wait for the train for about 20 minutes. It was at six o’clock in the afternoon when train pulled into the platform. We bought coffee and sat in the train. After ten minutes I asked my friend to have a look at the documents. She looked for them. The more she looked the less she found them. Suddenly she said to me "oh my god! I've left them in the centre when I was calling the taxi! This hasn't happened to me in the last 8 years of my work." She tried calling the centre to ask them if they could fax them to her. After ten minutes they said that they found them but they couldn’t fax them, as they were legal documents. We had done one fourth of the journey. She had to call her manager to see what she will want her to do. Unfortunately she was told that she had to go back and get them. It was nearly 7 o’clock when she got off the train to go back all the way and come back again! I insisted to go with her but she said that I have a child and needed to go back.

It was few minutes past eight when I got home. When I called her at 9, she said that she had found the documents and she had just got into the train to London. I think she should be home by midnight or early morning. Poor thing.

With all these adventures, it was a nice day out for me and a memory to be remembered for life. Unfortunately we couldn't go and visit any of the places I looked for them the night before.
After that long journey, I was too tired and I knew that I would sleep well and sound that night.

Patience

Today is 28 of September 2006. I went to the solicitor’s office to get the copy of the application he has forwarded to the Home office on my son’s behalf.

It was some time in mid June while I was on training in our office that I found out we could apply for Indefinite Leave to Remain under the Seven year concession for my son. The lady who was training us on the “Nationality and Citizenship” mentioned something about it. After the session I went to her and asked for more details. She talked a bit more about it and gave me the address of few solicitors who I could discuss the case with.

I came away and with the help of a friend of mine looked for more information on this subject and found out that if a child has lived in the UK for more than 7 years and still is a minor, can apply for ILR outside the immigration rules. I was so happy to know this.
I contacted the lawyers but they couldn’t take on the case and some of them thought that this was not possible! I tried few other lawyers with no luck. I was losing faith in my findings until one day when I was talking to one of children panel advisers, I mentioned it and she said she knew a solicitor who I could contact with and she said that this lawyer is an expert in dealing with children’s law and immigration matters. She gave me the number and I called him straight away. He was so aware of this matter and he said that there have been few similar cases, which have been presented to the Home Office, and they have been successful. As soon as I heard he was eager to challenge our case, made and appointment to go and see him as soon as my husband came to the UK.

On 19th July we went to see him. He was so positive and promising and he even said that if the Home Office accepts the case then he would be able to take the case on person and we would get the results in couple of weeks time. We were so delighted to hear all that and seeing that how easy it was to get ILD in this country made our souls jump out of our bodies! But we were not aware of the whole story and the rest to come!!
Two weeks passed and we did not hear anything from our lawyer, three then four then five weeks and two months passed with no news. I decided to phone him to find out if anything was wrong. He said that the Home office has not accepted the application in person so it needs to be posted and he couldn’t tell us how long this process would take! So much of getting the result in couple of weeks eh!
On 19th September when I called him he said he had just finished the application and his manager is checking it out and it would go to the post that night and I would be receiving a copy of it in two days. I waited for a few days and when the copy did not come, I called him to see if he really did the application. As they say “Once bitten, twice shy!”. I had started doubting him now, as whatever he told us did not go to that direction! His secretary answered my call and said that he is busy. I got so frustrated. I left him a message to call me back when he was free. It was half three when I called him and there was no reply. I told his secretary that if I don’t receive a call from them regarding my case I would call them before five and this time he had to answer the phone himself even if he is busy with other client. It was only few minutes after my call that he called me back and he apologized for not doing the paper work and he would send me the copy soon. I was honest and told him that I was not sure anymore if he really was entertaining our case. He said that he had done it but hadn’t have time to sent me the copy, but he would sent it tomorrow. I told him that I was going to his office to get the copy myself – thinking that even if he had not done it, he needed to do it that day at least-. We arranged for 2 o’clock the next day – which is today- for me to go and collect the copy. I went there and he brought me the copy of the application and kindly explained the matter and apologized for the inconvenient. I felt really bad about the whole thing and I apologized too and I explained that the time is very important for us and when I thought that he is taking this case lightly I was frustrated. The sooner we get the result the better for our family. He said that he understood the situation. We said bye and I came home.

Now when I look back, I see that if I was a bit more patient and had a bit more faith on him was better. I need to start trusting people. Not everyone is untrustworthy!

"The twin killers of success are impatience and greed"

Rohn, Jim

My birthday ( and a letter to my parents)



I was held in his strong arms when I opened my eyes. He was awake he was looking at me with a smile on his face. Was he discovering what was in my dreams? Or was it about how he was feeling at that moment about me?? What was going on in his mind? I would never know.
The first thing he said was “ hello my darling, Happy Birthday”. I smiled pleasantly and looked him in his eyes and held him tighter. He kissed my forehead as he does usually when I am in his arms..
Maybe that was all I needed for my birthday. For him to remember it.

My son had marked this day on the calendar with two little star on the each side of the “Mum’s Birthday”. He is the sweetest boy. He told me happy birthday anytime he felt like saying it, maybe he thought I would forget it!!!! And it was like little hint for saying that “ Mummy be happy, today is your day”!

Each member of my family called later that day. When I talked to my father, he said that he was going to Mashhad. He said that he would pray to God for our quick return. He was deeply unhappy that we were not going back this year again, I could hear it from his voice and the choice of his words.

The rest of the day went by without me being myself or enjoying the day. I kept thinking about my parents and how cruel I have been to them. Would I ever let my own child do that to me? It is hard to answer it now as he is too young to be able to make a decision about his own life, but I know that that wouldn’t be the case… then why am I hurting my parents? There is an expression saying, “Our children are our sweet enemies”?? Oh no! I would never want that…
I have asked myself these questions many times, but there are no straightforward answers for them.

Mum and dad please forgive me for being so selfish and doing things for my family’s sake and hurting your delicate feelings.
In the name of this special day on which you two have given birth to me and brought me to the world and given me the most precious gift of living in this world, I swear to all the beauties and purities of the world that there is no intention of upsetting you. I love you and I will always love you… you are always in my thoughts. Never a day goes by that I have not thought of you. Just give me enough time to finish this commitment then I will be with you for the rest of my life. Thanks.


"Birthdays are good for you. The more you have, the longer you live."

Complicated or Straightforward?!

I had my first supervision with my new line manager. It doesn’t feel quiet right calling him “new manager” as we have been working in the same office for more than five years now! It is a long story why my supervisor has changed but what is important is the story I am going to tell you!

He, my new supervisor, phoned me and said that I need to be ready in the afternoon to have my first supervision with him and told me what I needed to take with me to the meeting. I was a bit nervous at first but after a short while I overcame these uncomfortable feelings.

Before he starts filling the forms, he said to me that he was very delighted to have become my supervisor. The reasons he gave me was that he know how committed I was to my job. And he said that my ex-line manager had told him something about my personality that had made him more eager to be working with me. He said that, when my pervious line manager was asking him to take me into his team, he had told him that I was his best staff and he had never heard anyone complain about my work or the way I treat my clients. he had also told him that I do my duties and more when it is necessary and needed. He had said that he never needed to say anything twice to me, as I would get the message immediately….

Well, these are somethings that I already knew about myself and not a big issue for me. The only issue that made me have mixed feelings insde me was when he said that your ex-manager told me that you have a good character and you are a straightforward person with a lovely personality. There is no complication about your personality or work. When there is an issue about work/colleague or anything related to your work, you put your opinions and views on the table directly and give the opportunity to the other person to put forward theirs, and you either agree or disagree and that is it. You make it clear where you stand and where the other person stands! In common language “ there is no messing around when you are concerned”. He said that this is unlike most of our staff, who say one thing in front of their manager and say/do another in their absence!

After a bit of discussion we started the supervision and got on with it! What is important for me is the way that my ex-manager has seen me. His understanding about my personality! What he has said about me was truly correct. I have suffered for a long time hearing from someone that I had a complicated personality! I wish that this person one day discovers that he has always been making a mistake about me. Sometimes fear makes us to omit or deny things or keep them to ourselves. But it doesn’t mean that we are complicated. It just shows that where there is no fear, I can be myself and that is a “straightforward person”! Maybe we need to look at our behaviour with others and the way we treat others to see the reason behind their reactions!

The whole thing about matrimony is this: We fall in love with a personality, but we must live with a character.

De Vries, Peter

Punctuality!

I have lived in England more than 7 years now and I have always admired its transport timetable. Time to time that there are delays but it is neither often nor important. My journeys to work have been safe and sound almost everyday. Therefore when other people kept telling me about their horrible journeys to and from work, I always thought to myself that they are exaggerating!

It was only yesterday that I was talking to my friends about it and how much I appreciate the culture of punctuality in every single cell of this society.

But today was one of those days! I can tell you that anything that could possibly go wrong went wrong! This morning. I decided to take the late train because I was too lazy to wake up early. I went to the station and the train came on time. After few stops, I got off to change my train. The next train was only few minutes late. I started to calculate how late I would be to work. I decided that it will be fine and I will still be at work in time. I got off the train to take my last transport to work, which was a double Decker bus. As I was sitting on the bus, I realised that the driver missed a turn. It was too late when he realised it himself!! He had to go round and round to find out how he could go back to the same route! His radio was on and he had to report to “the centre” why he was out of his main route and he was being guided. Again I started to calculate in my mind how long this delay would be and if I needed to call the office and let them know that I would be late, but I decided against it! I only had one stop left to reach my destination, unlike some of the passengers, I was happy that my journey was going to end soon and I was kind of celebrating in my mind that I would be getting off this bus in no time, I was floating in these thoughts when all of a sudden the driver’s voice took me from heaven and brought me back to earth! The bus was broken down, it was announced, and we had to leave the bus and wait for the next one, which would be arriving in 5 minutes! I felt so miserable having to walk all the way down to the office and more miserable having to call the office and letting my manager know that I was going to be late and then him asking me to go and explain what the delay was about! Anyway, to cut it short I got to work with only 35 minutes and 43 seconds delay!
In the afternoon when I was coming back home, my bus driver was fine and an expert in his job. There were no “wheels going round and round”. The First train came on time. Things were looking good and I was happy that in 15 minutes I would be home and resting my feet after a very busy day running up and down in the office and dealing with more than 20 clients! As soon as the train came I jumped into the train and just two stops before I got off, the train stopped. There were no announcements from the driver to tell us what was going on and why we were not moving. After 15 minutes, he started speaking to us and apologising but he still couldn’t get any information on why the train had to sit outside the station! After ten minutes he said that there was a train in front of us that was broken down and as soon as they move it, we will be able to carry on! Thank God it was eventually moved and we could continue our adventurous journey home! By the time I arrived home, I was 59 minutes and 23 seconds later than usual, but the good thing is that my manager at home didn’t question why I was late; he was just concerned that I was too tired!

"You may delay, but time will not."

Franklin, Benjamin